I have this one t-shirt that I always wear when I want to get laid. It has a picture of two people fucking on it. No. I'm kidding. There's no such shirt. But wouldn't it be so cool if there was. I'd totally wear a shirt like that.
I wonder if Jesus was Pro gay? He was always saying everybody should love everybody else. I wonder if that's what he meant.
I don't think if a chicken crossed the road that it would actually make it to the other side. It'd probably just be roadkill.
I was on MySpace the other day. I don't really hang out there. I don't have a MySpace account. Only losers have MySpace accounts. But I was on there, just to laugh at the other people on there. When I stumbled upon the profile of this hot chick from work that I am totally in love with. Her profile said she was single. So I sent her a friend invitation and emailed her my MySpace profile to check out.
I wish Britney Spears would shave her head again. I thought she was freaking hot when she was bald.
If I could have only one thing for the rest of my life it would have to be a t-shirt of a Mooing chicken. It just works on so many levels. It's so deep. It's so profound. It's the answer to all of life's mysteries. I swear to you this is true. It happened to me. One night when I was really high. If you stare at the t-shirt of the mooing chicken. Now you have to really stare at it. No blinking. Stare at the mooing chicken for exactly seventeen hours and twenty three seconds and I swear to you that the meaning of life will be revealed to you.