Are you sad? Lonely? Find it difficult to meet new people or make friends? Has your doctor told you to exercise and eat for fresh fruit? Has your mother removed all the belts and shoe laces from your closet?
You've probably tried every odd piece of advice and quack cure to turn your life around only to be disappointed by the lack of results. Never fear. The problem isn't you, it's your clothes.
What you need are some funny and outrageous t-shirts. They will draw total strangers into conversation with you. They will charm women and co-workers. They will even make you look better. Yes. It's true. Our elite team of scientists has discovered the elusive formula for beauty and they've harnessed its awesome power to create every one of our funny t-shirts. Simply wear one of our t-shirts and be amazed at how much more attractive you are to friends, relatives and even strangers. But be careful. You'lll be so damn appealing there might be a riot. Wear our potent t-shirts with caution. And be sure to only wear them once a week at most. Wearing our patent pending, attractiveness increasing, funny t-shirt more often may have negative side effects.
Side effects include, but are not limited to: nausea, diarreha, dry mouth, loss of limbs, upset stomach, blindness, decrease in appetite, all consuming rage, cramps, suicidal thoughts, love for the ending to lost, food network obsession, itching, redness, libertarianism, atheism, fatigue, dancing with the stars, and problems forming words.
Before starting any funny t-shirt wearing regimen consult with your doctor. When wearing our genetically enhanced funny t-shirt avoid operating machinery or other potentially dangerous tasks until you know how wearing funny t-shirt will effect you.
And remember, there's no I in t-shirt. Except, oh, wait, there is. Huh. Go figure.